How to Procrastinate

How+to+Procrastinate

You want to learn from the master how to procrastinate, huh? I’ve taken eleven years of schooling and practicing to conquer the trials that come with this art form; it’s not a task for the faint-hearted. There are a few key characteristics, though, that can be easily learned and taught to improve your procrastination game.

First off, learn how to type fast. Seriously. If you are trying to cram in an essay at 10 PM the night before it’s due, typing at 85 words per minute (my normal speed) you can do a 1,000-word essay in 12 minutes. Of course, you still have to plan the essay and know what you’re writing on, which adds another 20 minutes or more, depending on the complexity. Still, that is one essay done in a half hour that others could take days writing. The faster you can type, the more time you can spend staring at the wall and not wanting to type it. Pretty good trade-off, right? There are sites that can help boost your speed if you’re lacking. Typing.com, Nitro-Type, and FreeTypingGame.net are some examples, which boast games and lessons proven to improve speed over time. Typing.com, in specific, has been used by over 250,000 teachers (and subsequently 14,000,000 students) and verified by multiple school communities, such as the NYC Department of Education and Chicago Public Schools System. With credentials like that, it’s bound to make a difference if you work at it.

Then, you must know your limit (and, more importantly, workload). If you’ve taken three tests in one week, you’re not going to have as much homework, which means it can be pushed off even later—Sunday night at six, for example. But if you have three projects coming up, your method is going to be a little different. Every twenty minutes you work, rotate which project you’re doing, so you’re forced to change mindset; that way, you don’t drive yourself into boredom with monotonous work. Each time you switch, it almost feels like a break.

That’s another thing— work breaks into your cram sessions. Health.com, a site publishing news, and information relating to health say that taking “short and frequent breaks during the day” will help you have “more stamina and fewer aches and pains” while working. If you have a massive workload, those breaks might not be as frequent as you’d like; five minutes after every forty minutes of studying is normally perfect. Watch that YouTube video you’ve been thinking about all day or go raid the pantry. No matter what you do, make sure it’s something you enjoy. Absolutely no thinking about your homework, no matter how stressful it is. As soon as your break is up (it’s probably best to set a timer on your phone, so the minutes don’t slip by you) get back to studying. Take some popcorn or chips with you, because brain food seriously helps while studying. Avocado, blueberries, broccoli, and dark chocolate are recommended by Dr. Josh Axe, DNM (Doctor of Natural Medicine). They boost memory and focus, and that’s basically all that is needed while cramming the day before a test.

If you’re going to procrastinate, know how to do it. You can’t just push things off with no plan at all; if you understand the work, you can still pull As without doing homework every single day. There will be less stress over homework in the end if you know what you’re doing. Trust me, I’m definitely a professional.