*checks watch* “I’ve been alive for 22 years.”   “I have a hole in my left chin.”   “If you have no legs, then by definition you cannot be a pedestrian.”   “Welcome...

“You know what I like about honey roasted peanuts? That they’re honey, and they’re roasted.”   “I don’t really know much about social interaction.”   “Man, I really...

“That’s an Alge-bruuh moment.” “Lambourne’s voice is more soothing than the guy from planet earth.” “Ella, you look like you are gonna kill someone.” “It’s a corpse—leave...

“You can’t just yell that you’re going to go streaking!” -Cafeteria “Let’s be honest, everyone should be wanting me for Christmas.” -Cafeteria “When I walk down these halls,...