The Good

• Getting real letters and packages in the mail.
• Christmas: an excuse to wear a super ugly sweater.
• Bad jokes from third grade becoming funny again.
• Drinking the last of the eggnog straight from the jug. #rebelstatus
• They changed the back of the Cap’n Crunch box!
• Making the yellow light.

The Bad

• Switching the radio station only to find your favorite song is just ending.
• Paying for haircuts you end up hating.
• When your hair looks best just before you shower.
• Going to bed early only to lay there for four hours
• Pressing a button on a toy at the store, then walking away quickly because it won’t stop… Act natural!
• Most of the jokes I know.
• When you see someone you know outside of school and you don’t want to talk to them.

The Ugly

• The constant struggle: do I wear a coat or just a jacket?
• The only way to express your emotions is through a mime.
• The ongoing battle of not wanting to be fat but simultaneously wanting to eat everything in the room.
• Driving to school blind because there’s no room for you in the garage.
• Having to skip breakfast and wait for B-lunch.
• My face and hair all Christmas break.
• Having to scrape ice off your car in the mornings.

My single most important goal in life is to get on Ellen.