Ladies and Gentlemen, It’s time we address a very important part of what makes up the Bingham High School experience: the lunchroom.

It all begins with the panic that strikes your soul when you enter the cafeteria. The lines are full, the seats are taken, and all hope is quite possibly lost. You weave through the crowd and finally find yourself in line and the marathon begins. Patiently waiting, you witness a large group of bros cutting in line with people they will never talk to again. When the long-anticipated moment of reaching the front approaches you, the dreaded news is given. The food has run out. You’re sent to the next line and the vicious cycle begins once again.

On to another matter: the choice of food. Back in the glory days, the choice was simple. You go with tater tots or smiley fries. Life was good. Now, we have come to a dark time shrouded with raunchy potato wedges and uncooked curly fries. Thanks, Michelle Obama. Although kids are allowed to get as much ice cream as they’d like, we’re not able to have a choice of tater tots for lunch? Good logic. However,  I do like what I’m seeing with the possible strawberry milk comeback.

Finally, you receive your food and it’s time to face the final phase of the lunchroom. Traditionally, you would be able to just find your friends and squeeze in regardless of how many people there are already at the table. But, no more. Now we have the new and ‘improved’ tables. It was already hard enough finding a seat before these tables were put in. Now there’re only three seats available, thereby adding to the hectic situation.

The insanity of the lines, the genius logic of food choices, and the sad new lunch tables all lead up to the chaos we call lunch.