“Sometimes it just smells like school lunch.”
“He is a good guy—he opened the door for me.”
“But he cheated on you.”
“Would you still love me if I was a fish?”
*Without...
“Not to be disrespectful, but you’re an idiot.”
“You went to Rome? Really? I only went to New York.”
“We can’t be sure until we’ve tried every single taser.”
“I...
“Are you kidding? I’m so intelligent, my tongue hurts.”
“How do you sneeze in sign language?”
“Renaissance music is like broccoli. It isn’t like a Twinkie where...
“This is pretty good, but on a scale from 1 to Cafe Rio it’s still a 1. Because.. ya know.. Cafe Rio.”
"Smart people are stupid."
“You walk around with your clipboard...
“When you’re this ugly, who cares if you don’t have pants on??”
“I watch chick flicks all the time. It’s a guide to women.”
“I’m basically just Christian Bale,...
*checks watch* “I’ve been alive for 22 years.”
“I have a hole in my left chin.”
“If you have no legs, then by definition you cannot be a pedestrian.”
“Welcome...
“You know what I like about honey roasted peanuts? That they’re honey, and they’re roasted.”
“I don’t really know much about social interaction.”
“Man, I really...
“That’s an Alge-bruuh moment.”
“Lambourne’s voice is more soothing than the guy from planet earth.”
“Ella, you look like you are gonna kill someone.”
“It’s a corpse—leave...
“You can’t just yell that you’re going to go streaking!”
-Cafeteria
“Let’s be honest, everyone should be wanting me for Christmas.”
-Cafeteria
“When I walk down these halls,...
