Save the Date


“#68 A Pair of Hands – Holding Hands” by RichardBH is marked with CC BY 2.0.

You are waiting excitedly by the door. They should be arriving any minute—HONK! They are here and honking from the driveway. Heaving the door open with a sigh, you know that you are in for a long night. Sound familiar? In our modern world, the etiquette surrounding dating has changed drastically. My goal is to share my personal opinion on how to navigate the beginning stages of dating, as well as forming a strong foundation for a healthy relationship.

The Asking

Now you may be thinking, I can’t even get a date! Why am I reading these tips if I’m never going to apply them? Well, dear reader, Aubrie Johnson, the communications teacher here at Bingham, suggests, “Be brave and just ask. What’s the worst that can happen, they say no?” If they say, “no,” nothing changes, but if they say, “yes,” maybe everything will. 

If you want it to be a date, be clear that it is a date. However, opinions are divided about whether a phone call or text is okay. If you are trying to make a good first impression for your date, I feel like it shows effort and confidence if you ask them in person or over a phone call. But if you are aiming for a super casual date, texting works just fine.

Remember to not get ahead of yourself with the reality of the situation. People often get excited and start to imagine things are more serious than they are in the early stages. Take the relationship one step at a time and, at appropriate times, discuss your relationship status. Johnson says, “You can’t have a relationship if you aren’t talking and interacting with each other. That’s just when you’re imagining things.”

The Pick-up/The Date

Once you land that date, or what most kids like to call, plans to hang out, when you go to pick them up texting, “I’m here,” or honking from the driveway is not a respectful foundation for a relationship. It doesn’t matter who asked, or what the activity is, go up and knock on the door, even if it’s not officially a date. According to Johnson, “Anytime you are hanging out with someone you are interested in getting to know better, it counts as a date.” On top of that in “High School Musical 2”  Taylor McKessie said, “All dates are official. Whether the boy knows it or not.”

Speaking of activities, make sure you have one planned! Don’t pick up your date and then ask what they want to do, know what you are doing beforehand. If you aren’t sure what to plan or don’t know what your date would like to do, you can either ask them or give them options to choose from before picking them up. When making your plan, make sure to take into account yours and your date’s curfews.

If your date plan comes with any charges, who should cover the costs? In my opinion, whoever asked should be the one to pay. Generally, when you are asked on a date you assume the one who asked is paying. So, if you asked but plan on splitting the costs, be sure to be upfront with it. If your date offers to pay for their half, don’t be afraid to be a little bit stubborn if you invited them and want to pay for it. On the flip side, if you have been asked on a date, and they want to pay, be gracious in accepting their generosity and don’t cause a huge fight. 

When it comes time to drop off your date, make sure you are on time. I would suggest walking them to the door, no matter how cold it is. You may want to avoid the awkwardness of the doorstep by just dropping them off, but by walking them to the door, you are showing them that you respect them, and want to spend more time with them. 

Let’s say you just went on the most awkward date of your life, and are afraid if they walk you to the doorstep they may try to kiss you and you don’t want that. It is totally okay to say no. I’ve had times where I have said no and it was terrifying, but it was worth it. The same goes for the time I didn’t say no when I should have and then regretted it instantly. 

The Real Deal (relationships)

For the sake of this scenario, let’s imagine that the date went amazing, and now you are lined up for a second one, and maybe even a third… Now that you guys are “talking,” let’s go over some things that are normal in this modern world that may actually be hurting your relationship.

Johnson believes that a lot of problems with modern relationships are caused by a lack of good communication. “Communication [and trust are] what builds a relationship.” She said that means that texting can’t be the main form of communication. With text conversations, you don’t know vocal intonation and body language, both of which are essential to having a good conversation. You and the cute person you’ve gone on several dates with may be “talking” but are you actually communicating? If not, you might want to remove that “talking” label real fast. Instead, make sure to balance your texting, snapchatting, and other online communication with in-person conversations.  

Trust is also very important to develop between you and your partner. Johnson states, “Relationships are becoming a sixteen or eighteen person thing” when a person consults all of their friends before every move in a relationship. Doing this prevents you from building real trust with your partner. 

Follow these tips and you might (if you are lucky) live happily ever after. 

The End.