“Why are you painting his eyes?!”

“Screw it. Blue is now my lucky number.”

“My aesthetic is just listening to angsty songs while pretending I relate to them.”

“Now I need a saucy explosion.”

“I think your grandparents are better at Google than you.”

“I can only think in ‘Princess Bride’ quotes.”

“Learn Chinese: Lettuce.”

“My throat is closing off, but IDK if it’s from anxiety or cheese.”

“Why is sitting down so hard?”

“How do you spell illuminati?”