Heard it in the Halls

“You know what I like about honey roasted peanuts? That they’re honey, and they’re roasted.”


“I don’t really know much about social interaction.”


“Man, I really like days that feel orange.”


“Wanna grow out your armpit hair and dye them with me?”

“Only if we can braid them!”


“Sorry there’s some technical difficulties, difficulties being me.”


“If I wasn’t born without a soul and forced to be a redhead, I’d be a dumb blonde too.”


“War is only okay when you tell someone to shut up, and they don’t do it.”


“Once I thought I wanted to be a therapist; then I realized I only wanna talk about my own problems.”


“You got to see his whole face? Lucky!”


“I play poker with candy necklaces. The REAL currency of Canada.”