“I can’t say it! The squirrels are listening.”

“As a fat person, I think that chefs are very hot.”

“Well, I’ve seen three things, so take that State Farm!”

“I’m a big boy—I can skate with an ice cream cone and scissors if I want to!”

“At any given time, I could open up your drink and dump it on the floor.”

“Bro! I learned how to catch a monkey in seminary today!”

“A lady started to get mad at me, and I just walked away.”

“When did you start working? Why are you so lame?”

“Bingham students can’t even come up with their own quotes—how original.”

“This is my table of chemistry princesses.”

“I only hear halls.”