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The Prospector

15 Things You Can Blame on the Inversion

Gray+skys+rest+upon+the+Salt+Lake+Valley%27s+mountains.
Gray skys rest upon the Salt Lake Valley's mountains.

Gray skys rest upon the Salt Lake Valley's mountains.

Photo by Tyler Monson

Photo by Tyler Monson

Gray skys rest upon the Salt Lake Valley's mountains.

Jacie Wach, Staff Writer

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You can feel it in the air. It’s unavoidable. It’s in every breath you take. It surrounds you 24/7.  It’s the inversion. And it’s everywhere. Cities like Los Angeles and Phoenix are known for having smoggy air, but many would be shocked to know that in January, the Environmental Protection Agency declared Salt Lake City has the worst polluted air in America. That’s not an award to flaunt. The inversion in the Salt Lake Valley can be compared to air that heavy smokers breathe.

We can all do our part to cut back on the pollution: driving less, walking more, and not burning trash in our backyards- real simple tips. The inversion is an inevitable part of winter, and it may not seem very useful to you.  However, the inversion is the perfect excuse for multiple occasions. Here are a few useful things that you can blame on the inversion.

 

• Got a huge zit?

Ugh, this awful air is clogging my pores.

• Forgot to do your homework?

 The inversion made my brain a little foggy, I need an extra day. 

• Late to school?

 I got lost driving; the fog was too thick to see through. 

• Gas prices are rising?

 They were lower before the fog got here.

• Don’t want to work out?

Reporters said not to exercise outdoors, which probably means indoors is ruled out too…

• Didn’t get asked to prom?

They probably couldn’t find my house in the fog…

• Mauled by a grizzly bear?

The inversion altered his brain!

• No one got you Valentine’s gifts?

All the roses turned black, so who wanted them anyway?

• Parents want you to walk the dog?

 I can’t go outside, the air is too horrible. 

• Called on to answer a question you don’t know?

I’m still recovering from breathing all that inversion. Call on someone else. 

• Missed curfew?

 Sorry mom, I had to drive slowly through the fog, so it took longer. 

• Asteroid hits earth?

 If we could have seen through the inversion, we would have been warned! 

• Spider in your room?

It’s trying to escape the inversion by hiding indoors. 

• Didn’t eat your vegetables?

The inversion made them taste awful. 

Rammed by mountain goats?

I went to higher ground to get out of the inversion and they attacked.

Parents want you to walk the dog?

Once I get out there I can’t even see the end of the leash.

 

If you have any good excuses of your own, leave a comment and we’ll post it!

 
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15 Things You Can Blame on the Inversion