Language We Wish We Understood

Teachers have this habit of saying things to appease you, things that they have no intention of following through with, sugar coated lies if you will.

For example, don’t you love those days when you roll out of bed early, throw on clothes that matched in the dark and drag yourself to school at the crack of dawn, because you had that teacher who told you, “I’ll be here at 7, if you want to come in early for help.” However when you make it to the school you realize that what they meant was that they would put in the effort to maybe, kinda, sorta be there at 7. Now you are stuck waiting outside their door in a vulnerable and pathetic state for a stretch of time that rivals eternity.

Also, when you’re receiving instruction for your next assignment and the teacher says, “Write a paper on the migration patterns of penguins.  Please make it 3-5 paragraphs.” What they really meant was, “For all of you planning on scraping by with a C go for the 3 paragraphs, but if you are expecting an A than you better have at least 5 paragraphs to turn in next time”

Perhaps one of the most frustrating situations is when you’re sitting in class listening to a lecture, and you raise your hand to ask an honest question and your teacher answers you by saying, “Oh, great question but I’ll get to it later.” What they really meant to say is, “I don’t know the answer, and I don’t want to feel like a fool in front of the whole class.”

The best line is, “I’ll have your scores up dated by tomorrow”.  Everyone involved in this promise knows that it is going to take at least a week for it to even cross their mind again. Meanwhile, your parents are upset because you “claim” to have turned in the 100 point assignment, just like your teacher “claims” that they will update your grades.

Don’t get me wrong, teachers have tons of great qualities, but sometimes it feels like you need a guide just to get through a class.