The different between a “boy friend and a boyfriend or a girl friend and a girlfriend is a little space called the friend zone.” According to Webster’s Dictionary the “friendzone” is defined as, a situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unreciprocated romantic or sexual interest in the other. Once someone enters into the void of the friend zone it is almost virtually impossible to escape. According to the Huffington Post, men are 15% more likely to be in the friendzone, but we’ve all experienced the woes of being in love with someone who only sees you as a close friend. Some of us have been in the friend zone for so long we might as well take up permanent residence and just get comfortable. But there are the stories of triumph from those who have overcome the friend zone. If you’d rather not get stuck there permanently, take some this advice on how to climb out of the friend zone.

So you’ve met this girl or guy and they are everything you’ve ever wanted in a significant other, but you have one problem. One day you see them in the hall and you go in for a hug and they dodge and give you knuckles and call you “bud” and the next thing you know they’re asking you for advice on their dating life. Congratulations, you have officially entered the friendzone, and you’re in deep. This person only sees you as a friend or worse, a best friend. The first step you need to take is getting the idea that “you’re a nice guy or girl so why doesn’t she like you” out of your head. You got to get it out of your head that you are not entitled to them, be determined to earn their affection, but accept the fact that you might never win THEM over. You’ll have luck with somebody, but maybe this just wasn’t your go.

Second, take some responsibility in the fact that you might be contributing to the fact that you are in the friend zone and maybe change some things up. Then you can start the process of getting the heck out of there.

Next, decide how much you really care about this person and if it’s worth putting yourself out there, then tell them how you feel. Just straight up. Your friend will appreciate the honesty and being that confident may show them a side of you that they may not know. Let them know that those feelings are strong and regardless how they feel, it’s not going to change how you feel, and you’re not going to give up on them any time soon. Confidence is attractive and anyone secretly likes the idea of being pursued by someone they care about.

Now, they know how you feel and the ball is in their court. It’s up to them. Give them some time. You can just keep being that good friend for them and let them process the information. They may totally reconsider your relationship and decide to give you a shot, romantically.

But they also may not, but that’s just a fact of dating. It’s a two way street and two people need to be in love with the other for a relationship to work out. You wouldn’t want to be in a relationship who isn’t in love with you anyways. You may have to move on, but at least you can walk away with the peace of mind that you were honest, and with that much more confidence to win over the next romantic interest who walks into your life.