INTRO STATEMENT: Andrew Hiram Ward, after being kicked from being a steadily-paying journalist due to not reporting on the American Civil War, decides to roll with not being tied to any cooperation and tries to start up a gossip-column. It does not go well. In between trying to interview an injured soldier and interviewing/listening to the trauma-dumping of a woman whose husband compulsively cheats on her, he comes to a nihilistically bleak standstill: this gossip-column will never work! That’s the case until he (quite literally) runs into Robert E. Lee, the infamous Confederate general who really had his shining-time during the end of the Civil War. Taking the opportunity to lecture the “Yankee journalists,” he basically just has a spiel on why the Confederates are good and why the North is bad. Andrew reluctantly adds his interview in the gossip column, gripping onto the meager hope that someone will read it. Unexpectedly, a lot of people have read it—Confederate and Union alike. Major corporations have even gotten inspired by it…in a very dogmatic way. Andrew then hears a knocking at his apartment door, and voila: there a clique of very nice-smelling rich men stand.
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*Disclaimer: The story content deals with the death of a character's father, but is fictional and made-up by our staff writers.*
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