Drawing by Irelynd Brown

Irelynd Brown, Staff Writer

Swuesday: //SWOOZ-dae//: the day of the week falling directly after Monday in which high school students (especially those suffering from senioritis or similar ailments) wear sweatshirts/sweaters/sweats.  It seems as though the code of Mondays already include “No I’m not sick, I’m just tired” as explanation enough for the agony of starting another week.  Wednesdays are the middle of the week; people try to liven it up with silly camels, but the truth of the matter is that it is smack in the middle of the week, which feels like smack in the middle of Alcatraz– too far in to go back, not close enough to get out.    All you need to know to understand about Thursday is that we all just refer to it as Friday-eve in our heads, and Friday is pretty much pre-Saturday, right?  Tuesday’s claim to fame is the over-worked-student’s favorite: lazyday.

Why do students need a certain day to dress down?  Could it be surprise nap party preparation?  Or an indignant protest of media’s attack to teenage body image?  Sadly, no.

According to today.yougov.com, students wake up and take, on average, a half hour to get ready.  They then go to 8 hours of school.  Each class in high school takes, on average, 45 minutes of homework a night, so 3 hours for that.  Due to college inflation, the rational fear of student debt, and societal/parent expectation, a student might take an A.P. or concurrent-enrollment class, which adds about 1 hour of homework extra per class.  Students are supposed to exercise at least an hour a day.  Add 10 minutes to shower and 50 minutes to eat a family dinner (which is suggested for a healthy family environment) and an hour of chores (your parents do enough for you).  Teens are supposed to be involved in the community, school clubs, service, and/or have religious commitments –one hour each for three of those things.  In order to pay for college and books and school activities, you need a job, and part-time is usually about 4 hours.  In order to have the full college experience, you have to be social, but time is getting tight, so an hour and a half with friends/family is all we can afford… or can we?  Including the suggested 9 hours of sleep this all tallies up to over 30 hours already!  Not to mention the 2.3 hours of television the average teen watches or the 1 hour of computer, handheld device time, and, according to medium.com, teenagers are the most likely age group to procrastinate and take longer at things that needed.  There simply are not enough hours in the day.

According to Medium.com, the anxiety levels of an average teenager today are equal to that of an insane asylum patient in the 1950s.  This upsurge in the scheduled day, coupled with the greatly depleted exercise of our generation has called for action of the greatest proportions.  SWEVERYDAY.  Will wearing more comfortable clothes solve the impending failure of our generation?  No, But it’ll make the failure much more comfy, and isn’t that what matters?