Dear Bingham, This is My Story


Photo by Jaida DeMill

Bingham Football Game in 2019.

Dear Bingham, 

With only a small amount of time left with you, I would like to share my story. It’s nothing extraordinary or unique, but it is mine and means something to me. This is my story of high school:

When I first came to Bingham, I felt like I lived in the shadows of everyone else. I silently watched everyone else grow, excel, laugh, smile, and live. I felt like I was a minor character in everyone else’s stories. Someone not as important as others. Sometimes I wondered really what my purpose was here. Did I matter? Would I really make it? Does anyone else care? Was I even good enough? 

As I replayed all of these questions in my head for a long time, it was difficult to keep pushing on. From struggling with anxiety and my mental health, things didn’t seem to be okay. The answers I needed didn’t just poof out of thin air like I wanted them too. So many nights I felt terribly alone with only homework assignments and textbooks keeping me company. 

I wished I didn’t have to go another day to school. I wished to be done. I wished to leave. I wished to never ever have to come back. I wished my life away not wanting to focus on the present because it was too difficult to face. I felt like things were too hard to deal with, and I spent so much time wishing it to be better without facing the problem. 

Despite all of the chaos of my every day anxiety and stress of school, home, and work, some tiny part of me told me to keep going. I wasn’t sure why, but I listened, holding on to the smallest hope that maybe things would change. Maybe I would be noticed. Maybe I would get better. Maybe I would make it. Just maybe. 

As the past three years went by, that tiny piece of hope that I so desperately held on to, grew stronger and brighter. Slowly, without me noticing, people around me filled my life with moments of love and laughter. Teachers and friends helped build an irreplaceable home for me that I could add to my little piece of hope. 

Overtime, my small piece of hope grew into something so much larger and more inspiring because of Bingham. I felt like I could finally breathe and live again. I finally could grow, excel, laugh, smile, and live just like I saw everyone else doing. Everyone was part of my family at Bingham and their love for me helped me now recognize that I really am who I believed I could be. I do matter. I can make it. People do care. I am good enough. 

My struggles and weaknesses didn’t fade away. They are still here and I still struggle, but my piece of hope pulls me through even my darkest of days and lowest of times. 

Now, as my time here is slowly counting down and is almost over, I look back and realize that my story here matters. I no longer see myself as a minor character in someone else’s story, but rather the protagonist in my own. Here, the people and moments will forever be treasured in my own story and will always be remembered as life changing. 

If I could leave anything behind for Bingham’s student body it would be this: write your own story. What others think does not define you. Your weaknesses do not determine who you are and what your story will be. Choose to write it yourself. You have so many chapters waiting for you. From all the times wondering if I mattered or if I was good enough, I have learned that I have the power to change my own story. And so do you! You matter. People do care about you. You can make it. Find your little piece of hope and give it a chance to grow. 

Love you, Bingham!