Ask Like a Man & Ask Like a Lady

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Dallin Hougaard and Emily Andersen

For some guys, asking someone out can be a very natural occurrence, but for others, it can be the most daunting task to overcome. For many, that girl they are going to ask out is so stunning to them that they suddenly forget how to talk. They lose every ounce of vocabulary they have learned since kindergarten and revert to their natural animal instincts and start speaking some kind of primal language. Instead of asking the girl, “Hey, would you like to go on a date with me,” it turns into something like, “Uh, duh yuh graw naw dough gone duh ate?” This will obviously not get you the girl, even if they’re fluent in the same language. It’s obvious that you guys need some help here.

Now everyone knows what you’re thinking, “I don’t need love advice from the school newspaper.” Well you can go ahead and think of this as some friendly advice from another guy, because that’s exactly what it is. Bro code enforcement right here.

Let’s get down to business (to defeat the Huns), how do you get that first date? The best way to do that is to first identify your target, the wonderful girl you want to get to know. Next, get your best wingmen and set up a time, date, and activity for the date. Now you have to muster the courage to talk to her (trust me, it’s easier than you would think) and ask her on a date. Once she says yes, see if she is available for the set time, and if not, do not despair, you can always reschedule! There you have it, guaranteed success with women! Just don’t be shy, and be yourself (if you’re shy, be someone confident, and you’ll get there). The more dates you go on, the more you will learn about other people and even yourself, like what you like in a girl.

Here in Utah, we have some strange tradition where whenever we ask a girl to a dance, we HAVE to ask them in some over-the-top way, usually involving a goat or even a horse. Some people find this ridiculous and unnecessary, like Rand Rassmussen. “How come guys can’t just go up to a girl now and ask her if she wants to go to a dance with you? What’s with these ‘If we can’t be the Three Musketeers®, then we could just be two if I go to the dance with you?’ Just go ask her you guys!” is Rand’s constant motto on the matter. So is it really necessary to do something special? Well if you ask basically any girl, they would reply that they feel special when you do. So the option is really up to you, but keep the girl in mind. If you ever struggle with ideas, you can get on the internet, or ask your parents, they’ve obviously had experience.

What happens when you find that girl that makes you happy for no reason though? Do you still have to ask them out on dates and put together extravagant dance asks, or can you just hang out all the time and not do anything big? Girls appreciate when you do nice things for them, that’s a fact. You can just spend time with her every so often, but relationships take work. Getting a surprise present to brighten your day would make anyone happy, and that’s how to make relationships work, show them you care enough to put in the extra work just to make their day.

Long story short, girls take work, but they’re worth it every time. All you have to know is they just want to have a good time with a great person.

 

 

Leave the date planning to the men? I don’t think so! Ladies, it’s time to get serious about asking boys out. That’s right; it’s time to stand up and take charge of our love lives. High school is the time to learn how dating works, so we need to go on dates, and if the boys aren’t going to arrange them then we will.

If you aren’t getting asked out, just remember it’s probably because you’re so stunning all the boys forgot how to speak. They clearly need your help. When a boy has a hard time creating real words in front of you, just stay calm, ask him out, save his skin, and then plan the perfect date.

If he hasn’t started jabbering at you yet he probably will, because you’re stunning.  Save him the awkwardness and ask him first. If you have this option, make sure to plan the date beforehand. Get your gals together and talk about that one date you’ve been imagining since you were three; whether it’s horseback riding, swing dancing in a fifties diner, a college football game, or just going out for ice cream, make it your own. Find what you need (tandem bike, treasure map, silly string, etc.) and find a time that works for everyone.

Now comes the scary part. You know how boys always say it’s so hard to ask us out because we travel in packs? They’re hypocrites. They do the exact same thing. It’s just that sometimes their packs include other girls, which makes thing 800 times more awkward. It’s best to get the boy alone, but don’t be creepy about it. If you know where his locker is, or where his third period class is, you could “accidentally” run into him in the hallway and go from there. If you honestly don’t know anywhere he will be alone, then approach him when he’s with his friends. Don’t ask to talk to him alone, then you get that awkward look from his friends and the scared and reluctant, “yeah, okay,” from him. Just ask him out right there. I’m serious. His friends will respect you all the more for it, and he won’t have the option to say no because he’ll know that if he does one of them will snatch you up faster that he can say “I’m madly in love with you, but I’m busy that night.” You’re stunning, so it’s obvious they all want to date you. There’s no need to worry.

Boys are a piece of cake. It’s like training a puppy. They are just as scared of you as you are of them, but if you throw them a bone and scratch them behind the ears they’ll love you forever. Now go get your puppy love.