Sleeping During the Teaching

Zack Hall, Staff Writer

There’s someone in every class–they stagger into class ten minutes late, put their head down on the desk, and start snoring immediately. Often, sleeping in class is associated with senioritis, but sometimes even sophomores have been known to take a quick power nap during a dull movie or lecture. I consider myself a personal expert on falling asleep in class, whether it is a quick power nap, or an hour-long deal complete with drool. So, here are a few quick tips to falling asleep in any class.

First and most important, you cannot have a conscience. Your brain might say, This is disrespectful. I shouldn’t be sleeping in class. What would my parents think? My parents would be so disappointed in me. In order to become a true Snorlax, you must first learn how to ignore all of these thoughts. They will detract from your ability to fall asleep whenever you choose.

Second, location, location, location. A front row seat right under a teacher’s nose: don’t do it. Unless you appreciate rulers slapping your desk and being publicly shamed, this is a no-go. To achieve your true potential of sleeping, find the perfect position toward the middle of the back.

Positioning of your body is also key. The classic head-down-on-the-desk works during movies and free time, but there are a few notable disadvantages–for one, the massive red mark on your forehead, and if you’re in the right position, you can even get the bonus of cutting off circulation to one of your arms and having to deal with an asleep limb for the entire rest of the class. The less known, and more difficult to master, elbow-rest position (to try, open your hand, place your cheekbone in the middle of your palm, let your head rest on your arm, think about sheep, etc.) will work better during a lecture when you are expected to pay attention.

Lastly, a few miscellaneous tips: move your notebook/notes/textbook out from under your head while you power-nap–drooling on your homework causes problems when you have to write over that massive wet spot. And whatever you do, don’t snore! Snoring will alert everyone within your zip code that you’re asleep and it’s also really embarrassing.