If Life Were A: Silent Film

Drawing+by+Emily+Rodrigues

Drawing by Emily Rodrigues

Megan Hutchings, Arts & Entertainment Editor

Imagine if your life were a silent film. No talking allowed. It would be as if the world had been taken over by an army of mimes. Everything would be black and white because at the time of silent films, there was no such thing as color-movies. If you think you can beat the system by using sign language, think again because that wouldn’t be allowed either. The world would be a huge game of charades between everyone.

Some of the most iconic silent films ever created were the Charlie Chaplin movies. This is what life would be like on an everyday basis. Whether or not we would all have toothbrush mustaches, top hats, and walking canes could be determined at a later date, but overall, these movies represent the general idea of what life would be like.

However; our lives wouldn’t be completely silent. According to filmsite.org, “Calling them silent films is something of a misnomer – movie theatres and other dream palaces provided pianists, wurlitzers, and other sound machines, and some films were produced with complete musical scores. Most early silents were accompanied with a full-fledged orchestra, organist or pianist to provide musical background and to underscore the narrative on the screen”. Since we would need this instrumental music to accompany our everyday actions, everyone would have a personal musician to follow them around and play the soundtrack appropriate for the current situation. Failed a test? Dramatic music like Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony would be played as you make a devastated facial expression. Scored a basket during a game of basketball in gym class? Someone would follow you on your victory lap around the gym while playing something similar to “We Are The Champions”.

Sports events would become even more interesting than they are now. No screaming, cheering, or moaning loud enough to blow out your eardrums, just incredibly gleeful or outraged facial expressions.

Another great advantage to living in a silent film would be that everyone would have fantastic looking faces because their facial muscles would be in such great shape from using them so often. Not only that, but our bodies wouldn’t look half bad either because of all of the gestures used to express emotion.

Living in a silent film would be incredibly difficult, but it would also be really entertaining for everyone.