Battle in the Parking Lot

Meg Peterson, Editor-in-chief

This is Bingham. It really is, but driving through the parking lot is like foraging through an unexplored jungle especially in the afternoons. So, get out your war paint and prepare to do battle, boys and girls, because your ‘right of way’ is just another myth from the Drivers’ Fairtytale.
Let’s talk about mornings; they’re fairly simple. If you come late, you will not get a parking spot—a legal one at least. In a perfect world, we would have enough parking spots for every legal driver. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Get here early, friends. Also, never sacrifice a prime position for a pull-through spot further away. Backing out of a parking space is pretty basic. You can do it.
After school is where the Fast and Furious driving game gets serious. To prepare, you must have acceptable driving music. I suggest The Distance by Cake, because it’s fierce. In regards to actually driving, be kind, but not a pansy. You protect your position in line like it’s the eighth season of Lost and your last ration of food. Additionally, the Golden Rule reigns in the afternoon. If someone lets you in, you must let someone in. However, if you let too many people in, you will get rear-ended by some impatient driver impervious to your foolish obsequiousness.
We understand; you’ve only driven for a short while. Remember to use your blinker, wave when someone lets you in, and don’t double park like a fool so your buddy can park in the space next to you. Last of all, good luck, Miners, and drive safely.