If Life Were An: Action Film

Konnor Woodburn, Sports Editor

You wake up first thing in the morning to an empty house. It’s quiet. Too quiet. You decide to investigate. As you sneak downstairs, anticipation and anxiety builds, and you hear a creak in the kitchen. A baseball bat is conveniently against the wall, so you pick it up and lift it over your head, prepared to whack the intruder. Your heart is pounding, and you can hear your breathing. As you jump around the corner and let out a banshee yell, you see your dog staring at you.

Embarrassed, you just keep going and quickly run to get ready. After you finish, you realize that you’re going to be late, so you jump in your car and slam on the gas.

“Watch where you’re going! Jerk!” you yell out the window. You drive as fast as you can, but traffic is crazy. Swerving past and almost smashing into a semi truck, you finally pull up to the school.

Sprinting inside, you hear the tardy bell ring, and then you slide into your math class, but you’re too late. Standing at the board, giving you an evil glare, is your archenemy. The bane of your existence, the devil’s spawn, Mr. Brown.

“How nice of you to join us. You’re just in time for our two hundred question test. Have a seat.” he sneered. That’s when you decide you’ve had enough. You stand up on the desk, turn to him, and say:

“You know what, I don’t think I will. Mr. Brown, you have spent this whole year trying to make us miserable, and I’m not going to take it anymore. Why don’t you just go out and leave us alone?” The class starts nodding, and you hear a few “Yeah’s”. “You could try, just try to be a bit nicer to us.” you say.

And that’s how you ended up in detention for the rest of school, staring at the wall while the one hundred year old librarian sleeps at her desk, supposedly watching you.

“Psst” You turn to see your friend John whispering to you. “Let’s sneak out through the vents. They’re big enough.”

“Alright.” you say. “Let’s go”

You and John sneak over to the vent, open the cover and climb in. After crawling around in the stuffy dark, you realize that you guys are lost. John, realizing the same thing, starts hyperventilating. “John stay calm. It’ll be fine.” He nods, and you keep crawling.

Eventually you get to the end of the vent and crawl out into the darkness of the evening. You and John laugh, say goodbye, and head off home. As you walk away with a smile on your face, you shake your head and walk down the sidewalk, ready for your next adventure.