Corporations Rule the World

Ben Lyons, Staff Writer

As of February 2017, Oxfam reported that just six men own more than half the world’s wealth, a drastically smaller number than the  62 in 2016. In just a year wealth has been consolidated more than ever before, begging the question of when that number might finally tic down to one. If it continues at this rate, next year might be the year that we finally see the monopoly man made flesh. Realistically, though, when will it be? Ten years from now? Twenty-five? Fifty?

Jeff Bezos, the CEO of Amazon, recently surpassed Bill Gates as the richest man alive. Could he be world’s next top capitalist? Fifty years from now an Amazon prime account could be akin to a social security number. “Congratulations man, what would you like the username of your new child to be?” “Oh, I’ve never met a LittleBilly12_3 that wasn’t just darling, so I’m thinking that. Now get me out of these stirrups.”

Given enough time, it might become a common misconception that the Amazon rainforest was named after the world-renowned company, rather than the other way around. It would be one of those “facts” that are taught in elementary school that are corrected in your high school history class, to the astoundment of nearly everyone in the room, like learning that Columbus wasn’t a saint, or that you won’t be using the “stop drop and roll technique” in the foreseeable future. Even for that kid who is going to pretend he knew it beforehand.

Say goodbye to physical stores, because you just know you will be able and may be required, to order everything online. Need life-saving medication? Just wait 2-3 business days. That not good enough? That’s fine, just be prepared to pay the non-negotiable price of 199.99 for instant shipping. Is it the weekend? Whoops, guess you’re out of luck, try some aspirin I guess.