Excited to Grow Out of Here


Dear Bingham High School,

I would have probably started off by saying that I was so excited to GET OUT OF HERE if I were writing this letter this time last year. HOWEVER. It’s kind of still the case, but also, like, not really at all. Let me explain.

I came into this school scared and alone. Knowing a handful of people, having transferred from a small charter school the year earlier. This is such a scary building to walk through alone, in two senses. Literally, in the sense that I’ve heard Bingham’s haunted and I would not for the LIFE OF ME dare to enter this building alone at night, but figuratively in the sense of not knowing yourself or anyone else. High school is a scary experience on its own. I realized that first and foremost.

But then, I realized that everyone else was scared too. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Adolescence is such a weird and trying period, how could you not be? Navigating through the world of first loves and first exes, teachers that love you and teachers that hate you. Parents. Friends. Family. Grades. All of it. I guess that it’s a necessary part of growing into the person that you finally decide to steady yourself at. 

For me, that was growing into confidence. Growing into friends. Growing into family, my work life, and my future plans. And I guess a part of that we don’t think about too often is growing past the things. Outgrowing old friends, old lovers, even high school. And, even though change is hard and leaving the things you love is difficult, the process of growing should never be an apology. Even when you sometimes have to leave other people behind.

The reality is that we’re all on different tracks to become different people. I’m so grateful for the friends I’ve made in high school, but even still, much more excited for the ones that I will make in the future: during college and after. So, instead of mourning the friends and experiences I’m going to lose, I’m thinking how grateful I am to have been able to spend three years with these wonderful people—thankful for the growth and love they’ve shown to me and continue to, even until our very last day. To allow them to change me and want me to grow, even though we won’t necessarily end up becoming next door neighbors thirty years down the road? We’re changing, and we’re growing, and we’re leaving. But, that’s not necessarily a bad thing! Because leaving is just an excuse for more growth.

So, while my junior self was SO EXCITED TO GET OUT OF HERE, my senior self is so excited to grow out of here.

Your Opinion Editor, Caitlin Hicks